Do I Say Yes or Do I Say No? Deciding What's Worth Doing in Life

"The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say 'no' to almost everything.” - Warren Buffett

I'm not sure if I've been intentionally looking out for it or not, but this concept of saying 'no' as a key to success has appeared to me constantly in the past few weeks. I've taken a time management course, read some questions posted on Quora about being successful, and have reflected on Seth Godin's book The Dip and understanding when to quit.

Everywhere I turn, experts say the same thing: if you want to make anything of yourself, you must say 'no' to almost all other opportunities. But which opportunities do you choose and which do you let go of? When do you continue and when do you quit? What if you pick the "wrong" opportunity? Is there even such a thing?

I could literally go on writing questions like these for next few hours (perhaps Quora could make some use of them) and I bet you could too. But what's the use? If you truly reflect on it, these are all concerns about uncertainty and other aspects of life that are completely out of our control. But in the moment, understanding that really doesn't bring us any real relief.... we still have to make choices at the end of the day.

Making a definitive choice about, well, your one chance at life and saying 'no' to almost everything else makes me anxious...really anxious. My history of 'career choices' since I was a young child have been many and for one reason or another I've abandoned almost all of them. Here are the ones I can remember, starting around age 10 to today at age 25:

• Olympic Gymnast
• Singer/Dancer
• Waitress (don't ask)
• Paleontologist
• Inventor
• Owner of my own grocery store chain (I had a name for it too: Nay Dixie)
• Artist
• Attorney
• Accountant
• Fund Manager
• Forensic Accountant
• FBI Agent
• Fraud Investigator
• Creator of a magazine
• CPA
• Fraud Blogger/Writer
• Documentary Filmmaker
• Photographer
• Photo-journalist
• Writer
• Investigative Journalist
• Activist (of what? That requires a whole new list)
• Humanitarian
• Social Worker
• Medical Counselor
• Nurse
• Entrepreneur
• Researcher
• Interviewer
• Programmer
• Environmentalist
• Biologist
• Zoologist
• Teacher

There were many career choices on this list that have been 100% eliminated as choices of what to do with my life. So the list begins to look something like this now:

• Inventor
• Creator of a magazine
• Documentary Filmmaker
• Photographer
• Photo-journalist
• Writer
• Investigative Journalist
• Activist
• Entrepreneur
• Researcher
• Interviewer
• Environmentalist
• Biologist
• Zoologist
• Teacher

All of these options are the "survivors", the ones that irk in my brain on a consistent basis. The feelings that arise at this level are similar to the one's you have when you're answering a multiple choice question and you've narrowed it down to 2 possible answers. Is it A or is it C? It's C. No wait, it's A. Crap, I don't know! *&$^%!


This situation reminds me of the Buridan's ass story. Never heard of it? I hadn't either but here's the gist of it:

An ass that is equally hungry and thirsty is placed precisely midway between a stack of hay and a pail of water. Assuming the ass will always go to whichever is closer, it will die of both hunger and thirst since it cannot make any rational decision to choose one over the other.

The moral of this story is obvious but is worth emphasizing: we must make choices in order to avoid being frozen in endless doubt.

Here are a few thoughts I'm going to keep in mind while I try to make choices or, in other words, say 'Yes' to some things and say 'No' to almost everything else:

• Act on your dreams or accept they'll never become reality.
• Make life about serving others, not yourself.
• Be patient! It's the only way everything in nature has ever been created so don't try to outsmart the process.
• Take notice of what you daydream about. If there are any thoughts that are more pure and true, it is those that occur when we don't even know we're doing it.
• Reach out to others! If you're uncertain, ask someone with the experience and knowledge you need to learn more.
• Explore, Explore, Explore. This is an area where saying 'yes' is vital. Do not forget about the inner curious child that has been slapped out of you as you turned into an adult. Explore every avenue, be curious, and be ruthless about it.
•  Focus on what you can provide to the world instead of what the world can provide for you. Take your skills (we all have them) and see how you could make use of them.
• Don't judge. Don't radicalize. Don't be arrogant. 

This is helping me and I hope it helps you if you are going through some similar dilemmas. I will say that the most important thing in deciding that one thing you will ultimately say 'yes' to is to be a creator, innovator, and visionary. As you continue to explore, your arsenal of skills and knowledge will grow, and so too will your abilities to connect the dots later in the future. Be cognizant of opportunities when they are provided to you and act on them immediately.

Quiet down your inner human that over thinks, over feels, and places judgment. Instead, be a fox: an opportunist, a creative, a creature of action.

Onwards and upwards,
Nadine